So it’s been almost two weeks since I left Thailand. Now that I’m gone, OF COURSE my brain starts racing with thoughts of sadness and loss. (The grass is always greener…) I feel like my time there was too short. I left just before the high season began only to be faced with a bone-chilling winter. I had to leave a secure and well-paying job and now I have nothing, which probably doesn’t help my stress. Well, before going home I decided to take a short detour to Prague. I just felt like doing it, and so I did. I wanted to return to see some friends and end on a high note of sorts. I imagined that upon arrival I’d be filled with happiness and I’d step right back into my happy little bubble that I’d left three months ago. I soon realized that I expected too much. It’s not a case of me returning to a place and picking up right where I left off. Instead, it’s a whole new Prague experience, and I’m worried that I’ve now ruined that happy little bubble. It’s just an odd thing to see just how much I romanticized my experience once it was in my past, thinking I may never return.
So what’s been my biggest issue? I thought I’d left really good friends. Friends who I believed to quite possibly be life-long. Friends I also thought I might never see again despite making casual efforts to keep in touch (if liking each other’s posts on FB is considered staying in touch). I was excited to return and meet with these buddies of mine but it seems like that excitement hasn’t been reciprocated. I try to be very fair and understanding. I don’t expect people to just drop what they’ve got in motion just to make some time for me, but damn.. make some effort.
So yeah, this has hurt me a bit. For the first time in over a year I feel like I can’t wait to be home. I feel like I need to go back to my beginnings, catch up with friends and family, get back into a routine, and then have that devious little travel bug slowly pour it’s delicious venom into me and give me my second wind. Ironically enough, I’m sure I’ll experience similar or greater frustrations upon returning home, but I can be hopeful…
So, what does this all boil down to? What am I really pissed about? Could be that I’m just hormonal. Could be that I’m overwhelmed. Could be that I expect too much. Could be that I’m a hopeless romantic; romanticizing relationships, friends, family, LIFE. I feel like I’m just being a whiny little bitch, but hey, it’s my blog. I need to vent.
These phrases keep buzzing through my head:
“The friends you make abroad are ‘always’ better than the ones you have back home.”
“The people you meet abroad are ‘always’ awesome people who have more in common with you than your friends back home.”
“If you’re not making friends abroad you’re not trying hard enough.”
“Being a solo traveler is the best thing for you.” etc. etc.
Do the majority of travelers truly agree with all of these? I can’t be the only one who has met rude, selfish, spoiled, ignorant travelers, but I don’t often stumble upon blog posts about this. I’ll search a little harder, because I’d really like to see how other people have dealt with it.
Overall, maybe I’m just annoyed when I only hear about the good in traveling and not the bad. Traveling is definitely an amazing experience and I’m grateful for the challenges it puts me through, but I also like to read about the times when people struggle since it makes the whole process more real.
So, in case you have a not-so-cheery travel story you’d like to vent about, I’d love to hear it. Misery loves company right?